I have been asked dozens of times why the French are rude and why they are haughty. Since I don't see either of these generalizations as being true, my answer often includes a comparison of smiling habits in US and French culture. When one smiles and how one reacts to a smile are largely unconscious, so it's not something we tend to be aware of, even though we are emotionally affected by it.
Polly Platt wrote on the French reluctance to smile in her book "French or Foe" a few years back. French people were shown a picture of former President Mitterand. Although he had been president for 14 years, they could not identify the man in the photo. The reason? He was smiling, and they had seen his smile so rarely during his long presidency that he was unrecognizable with a grin on his face.
If you smile, and it's not for a specific reason, you don't look serious. In France, even if you are not the president, it is important to appear serious. Some instances in which one can smile without appearing to be an idiot are: responding to a joke or humorous situation; responding to a joyous event, i.e. France winning the World Cup; and flirting.
A French person will not smile at you unless they find you humorous or are flirting with you. Similarly, if you smile for no apparent reason, you may be perceived as insincere, naive, patronizing, or foolish. Getting over the expectation of receiving a smile is not so hard. But deprogramming your own smile reflex may take some effort.
In US culture the absence of a smile can feel like an affront. Chiho, a Japanese student who traveled to France last summer, felt rebuffed when French people did not respond to her when she smiled at them. Then she realized that this should be normal to her, since she had grown up Japan, where one ignores passers-by in the street. After three years in small-town USA, she had become conditioned to smile and to expect reciprocation.
Along with franglais and fast food, the unmotivated smile may be making inroads into French habits. French students I meet tend to fall into one of two categories: "Francais pur et dur" or "global citizen." Franck is somewhat reserved and smiles only "for cause." He embraces travel abroad, but gravitates to elements of French culture, such as French films and the classic French chanson, when given a choice. Fabrice is extroverted and smiles spontaneously. He becomes immersed in the host culture wherever he travels. My observation is that with the globalization of culture, there are fewer and fewer Francks and more and more Fabrices. Maybe the Franco-American smile differential will diminish with increasing globalization.
The smile thing made me crack up..I think to when I met my french love's father, I just smiled the whole time, because that is all I could do! He must have thought, something was definately wrong with me! I love your site, very informative! thanks!
Posted by: kim Baker | February 27, 2006 at 08:14 AM